Be Kind: Spreading the love to boost your mental health

During difficult times, we can still make the choice to be kind

The Mental Health Foundation has found that doing good for others can have a huge positive impact on your mental health. The evidence suggests that being kind can help to:

• reduce stress

• improve emotional wellbeing

• benefit physical health

• bring a sense of belonging and reduce isolation

• get rid of negative feelings

What does kindness look like?

In this changed world, what does it really mean to be kind? We explore the ways that you can be kind to yourself, your loved ones and your community as we continue to adapt to the challenges around us. 

How to be kind

1. Being to kind to yourself

Being kind to yourself, or self-care, isn’t selfish. It can be vital to maintaining your health and avoiding burnout. If you take care of others, you can’t do that unless you take care of yourself first. The Harvard Medical School blog recommends physical activity, healthy diet, time for relaxation and good sleep as core tenants of positive self-care.

You might feel that because you’re not unwell yourself for example, you’ve got no right to feel unhappy but that’s not true. You’re not selfish if you feel bad about what’s going on, things being cancelled or missing loved ones. Allow yourself to feel annoyed or frustrated and take out your negative feelings in a healthy way. Exercise can be a great stress-reliever or sharing your concerns with a loved one or a specialist helpline. Try to avoid drinking to excess or other temporary stress-relievers that do your body harm in the long run. If you find yourself dwelling on the negative, it’s important to break these patterns.

Be aware of your inner voice and the negative messages it sends. Why not make a point of countering every negative comment your inner voice pings your way with a positive remark?

2. Being kind to the people closest to us

The effects of the pandemic have made many of us realise just how much we love and appreciate our family and friends – something that may have been taken for granted before. Show them you care by making time for them.

Make time to chat with loved ones. Here’s a list of some of our favourite ideas that you could try yourself, both virtually and in person!:

• board game or quiz night – you could make the topics based on the things you’re all passionate about

• talent show 

• movie night - just arrange to start the film at the same time and you can text your thoughts to each other throughout or discuss it once it’s finished

• disco/sing a long

• book club

• craft nights (craft a-long) or cooking nights (cook a-long) 

However, even just a phone call could make you feel closer to them.

One of the kindest gifts we can offer is our undivided attention. Even if you can’t do anything to help, people often simply want to be heard. The Huffington Post has some wonderful tips on active listening, including how to reflect back, ask open questions and reframe situations for an alternative point of view.

3. Being kind to your community

Following an extremely challenging time for local business owners, why not share the love and buy a gift certificate from their website for a friend or family member? Support your local cafes and restaurants - or treat yourself to a takeaway coffee and meet a friend for a walk. 

It's not too late to sign up to start getting your milk delivered! This supports your local economy and means you won’t have to nip to the shops when you run out of milk. You can also sign up to receive other fresh produce – like bread and baked goods, fresh fruit and veg, and meat and fish – from producers in your local area.

Some of the more vulnerable people in your community continue to struggle with the ever-changing situation. If you can spare it, you could donate money to a food bank or another good cause. Some people have also posted letters to their neighbours with contact details and an offer of support, should they need it in future. As well as giving support to a vulnerable person, this can also help bring the community together and help you to get to know your neighbours.

4. Being kind to virtual connections

With the internet shielding us from some human contact, it’s all too easy to punch out an angry post or sarcastic reply. Remember, though, there’s a real person with real feelings on the other side of the screen.

Sharing positive stories helps to drown out the avalanche of negativity. If someone gives you great service, post a great review. If they fall short of your expectations, speak to them privately, instead of inflaming the situation with a public humiliation.

If someone on social media has you seeing red whenever you read one of their posts, consider unfollowing them rather than giving them the power to make you angry. You could also report them to the platform if their posts seek to offend, hurt or mislead and block them.

5. Being kind to the whole world

Yes, you’re only one person but your actions do have an impact. Take time to make good choices: don’t waste energy or food, eat more local, seasonal produce, and buy clothes and household goods from ethical suppliers.

But don’t take it all on your shoulders. If you sometimes look at the news and feel overwhelmed, it’s good to remind yourself that you can’t fix it all.

Every person has the power to make the bit of the world that they occupy a little bit better. You can do that just by being kind - and that’s enough to change the world.

About our healthcare

Benenden Health provides affordable private healthcare for everyone, giving you access to services such as our 24/7 GP Helpline and Mental Health Helpline straight away. Once you’ve been a member for six months you can request access to diagnostic consultations and tests, and if needed, treatment and surgery.

You'll also have access to a wealth of health and wellbeing articles, videos and advice on a range of health issues.

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